Navigating Social Media as an Ambitious Introvert with Emma-Louise

March 14, 2022

Welcome to the latest episode of the podcast! If you’re a long time listener, you know that social media is not something that comes naturally to me – it’s probably the biggest stumbling block I’ve had as an introverted and HSP online entrepreneur. However, it now feels MUCH easier. After burnout forced me to change my mindset and knowledge around social media, I’ve been extremely consistent at posting for the best part of two years now. This has helped create a lot of revenue in my business, for which I am very grateful. So today I’m giving you some tips for navigating social media if you are more of a private entrepreneur – the same tips that helped me propel my own business forward.

Topics Discussed:

  • Why I believe it can be best to separate your business and personal accounts on social media 
  • How to tell the difference between your ego and your authentic self
  • Why it’s important to know ‘what you always share’ and ‘what you never share’ on social media, and how this creates consistency
  • My biggest tip for reframing your mindset and relationship with social media

Episode Resources:

Connect with Me:

Click here for a raw, unedited transcript of this episode
[00:00:00] Emma-Louise Parkes: Hello, and welcome back to the ambitious introvert podcast with me, Emma Louise, and welcome to today’s solo episode. So any of you that have been listens for a little while or a fall of my journey in any way, know that social media is not something that has come naturally to me, it’s probably the biggest stumbling block I’ve had.

Okay. All of my business growth, if I’m honest. Um, and it’s something that, and it feels incredibly easy now because I’m used to it. But when it was outside of my comfort zone and when it was something I had to learn so much about and start to use for marketing, um, and also be learning about marketing at the same time, it was incredibly overwhelming.

I had a huge burnout from social media where. Just stopped posting anything for about two months. Um, but since coming back from that and changing, obviously changing my mindset around it, but also my knowledge [00:01:00] around the subject, I’ve been able to be extremely consistent on social media for the best part of two years now.

And it has created a lot of revenue in my business for which I’m very, very grateful. But as I say, I did not just open the up one day. Oh, I ain’t going to make an Instagram account and Facebook page. And it all flowed from that, like it was a huge learning curve and there are definite aspects of it, which are not well suited to introverts and paths and highly sensitive entrepreneurs.

So today I want to give you some tips for navigating social media. If you are more of a private entrepreneur. And what I mean by that is that maybe you don’t love to share all of the details of your life online, which is completely okay. Because neither do I. Um, or if social media is something that maybe just doesn’t come naturally to you to do as part of your day-to-day life.

Yeah. I will be talking [00:02:00] about the fact that obviously we have a business and there are business tasks that need to be done. Everything. Can’t just be on like what we like or what we feel like in that moment. But I think they’re important distinctions to make when it comes to us in the business. But I’ll talk about that in a little while.

So firstly, number one, if you can separate your personal and business accounts online, I didn’t have personal accounts. When I came online for the business. So this was really easy for me. I just set up an Instagram, I set up a Facebook page and anyone that has ever come to that is. They are connected to me through my business or interested in my business.

So this has been really easy, but what I’ve seen play out over and over again with high majority of my clients is they’ve had social media, personal social media for a long time. Then they start a business and they start posting on that, about the business. And then [00:03:00] you’ve got this kind of weird crossover.

So you’ve got a crossover. Be sharing business things to family and friends, which can feel weird, or you can be sharing personal things to potential clients, which can also feel weird. Now if you’re okay with it. Great. And some people are, some people don’t see the distinction. They’re absolutely fine in like, this is me.

This is my business. Like you get all of me. But if you feel any kind of resistance or if that resonates with your, or I would really invite you to separate out your personal and your business accounts, just for that fact of having the choice and the control and knowing exactly what you’re posting and where it’s going to, rather than it just going out to everyone.

I think energetically, it feels nice and clear and clean. And if you think about. You know, we’re here for business for the long run. Think about the type of business that you want to grow. Do you want to grow the type of business that would have its own standalone accounts [00:04:00] versus, you know, being part of your personal account?

And if the answer’s yes, then it’s time to split them out. I came number two, kind of touches on the same thing. What comes up a lot, as I say, is this crossover of, oh, I might asking people to buy from me and I’ve got my brother watching it, which is weird. Or, you know, oh, I want to share this like family weekend away, but that’s kind of for friends and family, I didn’t really want like, you know, somebody I’m connected with and the business coaching space to see it.

So what I would invite you to do is think about, are you an. I don’t have, okay. Not unwilling, but is there resistance is the resistance to share in this content because of your ego or because of your authentic self and what I mean by that is the ego. We’ll be scared of judgements our egos, trying to keep us safe and it will think, oh, what will [00:05:00] people think if I’m asking for money or, oh, this, maybe it doesn’t look very professional.

If I’m posting a picture of myself drunk on a night out and potential clients see it, like a lot of that can be ego and this fear of like, what will people think? What will, you know, how will I be judged? Or is it your authentic self resistance posting? And what I mean by that? Woods sharing on social media actually negatively impact your experience of life, because this is what happened to me in the early days.

So I’d never had social media. I was almost 40. It wasn’t just, wasn’t a part of my routine. It wasn’t part of my day. It wasn’t even something I thought about. And then the coach I was working with was very insistently. You have to start sharing, you have to start sharing your life. You have to, you know, share this.

Um, when you go out here, take a picture and share this. And I know, I understand that. And I think it is great to build that connection and I completely [00:06:00] get the sales psychology behind it. But what I found is. It was actually impacted my life in a really negative way, because I was going out with friends to enjoy a coffee.

And then I was like, I have to get my phone out, hang on. Which I wouldn’t usually do. Like, oh, I have to take a picture of this. Oh, let me post it on Instagram. And it became a real chore to the point of it. Wasn’t actually the content I was that bothered about. But, you know, sharing it in that way, it just really had an issue with that moment in time.

One of the ways I have navigated, this is just say I was going out for dinner or go coffee or whatever it is. If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll see, like most days I put, like, this is today’s plan. This is what’s on the agenda. So I would share it somewhere like that. Or I would have my phone in flight mode.

I would take a quick picture, put my phone away. And then when I’m in a space that I’m back in business mode and online I’ll then share that picture later on, say in. [00:07:00] This was earlier today. So that to me to actually keep sharing in that way, it would have negatively impacted my life. And it didn’t feel authentic because one of my big values has been present with where I am and who I’m with.

And the feeling that I had to keep sharing something was really going against that. Make sure that the resistance, if you do feel it is from that place, I say not from like judgment or what will people think or what will they say? Or I can’t post this there because that’s something very different to work through.

Okay. Thirdly, no. What you always share a know what you never share now, when I, it always, I mean, consistently. Have things the super easy for you to share if you’re really comfortable sharing. And you’re really happy with that. And you know, that you can do that every day or [00:08:00] three times a week, or whatever your consistency cadence is, but know that you can do that.

And that will start to build up a pattern and people will see it and people will relate to it. One of the things that very first things that I was my always share, um, there are some cats that live. Over the bat bit of a few houses away. And they come into my garden all the time because they play with the dog and they sometimes get some treats.

And sometimes they come in the house as well. And occasionally they’ll jump up and try to eat Mimi’s food. But whenever they there, I would just take a picture and I’d say not my cat. So people were very familiar with the fact that I have a cat and then there was a picture of my house with the cat’s bowl, but it wasn’t my cat.

And so many people would respond to that. Oh, this is so funny. It’s like Kylie, how did it get in? And you know, we’d have a conversation. So that to me was super easy chair. It’s something that happens fairly regularly. It’s something quite entertaining. So that was my first, all the [00:09:00] ways share. So no problem at all.

If I see the cat there, I can run upstairs, get my phone, take a picture of it to share. Not. Another couple of examples of this are, um, I’m going to link in the show notes to an account of the lovely Kelly Calibri, who I was in a group program with and had the pleasure of meeting at a retreat in LA. And she is lovely.

She is extremely consistent on social media and actually was really expanded my horizons in that way. She was one of the people that I knew personally, that had a reading. You know, social media account, really great business. And the, I enjoyed her content. So I learned a lot from her. And the biggest thing I learned was consistency.

And there are certain things that she always shares. So every morning she shares that she sat down, she has a gratitude journal and she has a whole. And it’s such a simple concept, but [00:10:00] that’s something that she does absolutely every day and it’s really relevant to, to her business as well. So she shares it and I just started to see that over and over again.

I think content creation can sometimes feel like it’s got to be hard and Sharon feels like it’s gotta be like this. Vulnerable personal thing, but it doesn’t have to be, it can be these really small things that people see over and over again. And what’s really great with what she chose is it shows that she’s also walking her talk.

So when she sees people like, you know, practice gratitude, she’s actually doing that. And people are seeing that. So that for her is like an always share. And it’s just such a part of her routine. I bet it’s like brushing her teeth. She didn’t even think about it. Like sit down and grab. You know, cup of coffee, take, take the picture, then get on with that.

And then it goes on Instagram and that’s the kind of consistency that is really going to help you build an audience. Build trust. Another example of this is someone I followed for a while. On Instagram, who I, [00:11:00] I can’t remember who she was now, but she was in Australia and every morning she took her phone on her morning walk and she walked back down some steps in the sand, dunes, the beach, and then she’d take a video of the beach that day.

And so there’d be maybe two or three slides of video. And it would say like more than walk and show the beach and show the sunrise or whatever. So. Obviously part of her routine, she goes every morning for this watch, she takes the phone. She makes a video like perfect. That is just, there’s just such consistency that I always knew.

If I clicked on her stories, that’s what I was going to see now. That’s, you’re always share. Make sure you have your never share and as sensitive introverts, this is probably the most important one. So you’ll never share is the things that you just go. Energetically, no nothing to do with my business. Yeah.

People might be interested, but I need to keep, I need to keep a [00:12:00] line here. And this is really an energetic boundaries thing. And for me, knowing what I don’t share online as been really, really important, because it means that when I’m involved in that in real life, As I say, my phone isn’t there. I don’t even have to think about it.

I don’t think, oh, I should be taking a picture or, oh, I should be, you know, making a story because those things. My business and social media just don’t go together. They don’t even factor in, in the same thought. So it’s really lovely to have that kind of off and that permission to be off. So you’ll never share list.

I’m going to give you just some examples of what myself and some of my clients and other things that I’ve talked to people about. Children. Some people never share their children online. Totally understandable. Maybe you don’t share anything about your partner or your relationship, maybe you don’t share non-business [00:13:00] friends.

So I don’t share any of my non-business friends on my accounts. I I’ve never attacked them. I don’t share that I’m meeting them in real life. Anything like that? It’s just. Because when I’m there, I just want to be present with them. And to me, that’s very separate from my business, um, mental health, that might be something that some people are very comfortable and happy sharing, mental health struggles that they haven’t.

But maybe it’s something that you just don’t talk about. Maybe you don’t share political views. I know someone who is actually a huge extrovert, uh we’re in a coaching container together, huge extrovert, huge social media account. Like, oh, the kind of person you would say in boats coming, she’s always online.

And she said to me, I never share food. I never share what I’m watching on TV or film. And I never share my bed. I thought that was really interesting because most people would just be like, oh yeah, she shares everything. And she’s like, no, I have [00:14:00] these really strict things that I never share. Like you’ll never see food on my account because she wants to enjoy her meal and not be thinking about business, which makes complete sense.

And the last one is ironically, he’s one of mine I’m going to share. I never share. My morning walk, which is really funny. I know because I’ve just told you about this woman. Who’s morning walk. She shares every day and I really enjoyed, but for me, I have my morning walk before I even switched my phone on.

Like, I don’t want to think about my phone at that at that point. I go on my walk and I don’t have any tech on my walk and listen to anything. I just, I just walk usually to the beach and yeah, I understand it would be a beautiful shower. It’s beautiful scenery and people like to see it, but I have to trade that off with like, if I’m even thinking about that.

Then I’ve already started my Workday. I’m already thinking about social media. So for me, [00:15:00] my morning walk is on the never list. I was going to call it the naughty list. Then it’s really not. It’s just, it’s just my never list. So yeah. Have you always know the things that you can share consistently really easily?

Um, that really easy content and we’ll start to build trust, but equally know the things that are just no go for you and don’t know, keep those boundaries. And lastly, if you are more of a private entrepreneur and you’re feeling like, Ooh, that resistance to sharing on social media in any way, no, that you don’t have to, you do not have to use social media to run your business.

So it is, I had to reframe my thoughts around social media a lot and quite early on in my business, one of my mentors said. I see it as a gift. It’s free. It’s a gift. And that really struck home with me because so many of my clients, I would never, [00:16:00] never have found without social media. I wouldn’t have found the high majority of my mentors or coaches that I’ve worked with.

Some very, very good friends that I have in my life that I wouldn’t have connected with. And there’s no way I could have grown a global business with the reach that I have at the speed that I have without social media. And that, that is the key. So you can absolutely market your business without social media.

My evergreen marketing system that I take all of my clients through. There are numerous options in there where you at. Attract your audience. In other methods, you don’t even need a social media account if you really don’t want one. So know that all of the above sad, if it really is a deal breaker for you, if it really would have such an impact that you can’t face doing it know that you don’t have to.

There are other ways they’re [00:17:00] not as fast. You don’t have the same amount of reach, but they have great longevity and you can still build a perfectly successful business without it. If that is something you are interested in, then do feel free to reach out. As I say, my evergreen marketing system is available to all of my clients in whatever container they work with me.

So if that sounds like something you might be interested in, then get into. Okay guys. So just to wrap up then, if you feel like maybe social media feels a bit achy, you don’t love oversharing. It doesn’t come naturally. You don’t know how much of your self to share in your business or how much of your business share on your personal account.

Then my four top tips are separating your personal and business accounts. Now. Secondly understanding if it’s mindset and ego, if you’re worried about being judged for what you share or understanding, if actually you’re not going to [00:18:00] share that because it impacts you and join the moment of your life.

Thirdly, know what you always share a know what you never share. That is the clearest filter and the quickest way to build a consistent habit with social media as well. No, that you don’t have to. You do not have to use social media if you don’t want, there are other alternatives for marketing your online business.

Thank you so much for joining me today. I would love to hear what you thought of the episode. What was the biggest takeaway for you? And of course, I look forward to connecting with you all on social media. So if we’re not already hop over to Instagram at ambitious introvert, Or come and join us on Facebook in the ambitious introvert network Facebook group.

Until next time, take care.